ни в пизду ни в красную армию (ni v pizdu ni v krasnuyu armiyu)

//nʲɪ f ˈpʲizdu nʲɪ f ˈkrasnuju ˈarmʲɪju//sexual, insult

What does ни в пизду ни в красную армию (ni v pizdu ni v krasnuyu armiyu) mean? ни в пизду ни в красную армию (ni v pizdu ni v krasnuyu armiyu) is a Russian severe that translates to “completely useless / good for nothing” in English.

neither into the cunt nor into the Red Army

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"completely useless / good for nothing"

Something or someone that's completely, categorically useless — failing to qualify for even the most basic purposes. The phrase pairs the vulgar with the Soviet-patriotic in a way that's uniquely Russian dark humor. If something can't even make it into the Red Army (which took everyone), it's truly beyond saving.

About a broken appliance or an incompetent person: 'Ни в пизду, ни в Красную Армию' — said with a resigned sigh.